Exploding Isn't On My Top Ten List Of Things To Do

Hi.

My name is Danica, and yesterday, I felt like I was going to explode.

Not actually explode, of course. That would be a little bit messy, but I'd held too many things in for too long and seeing as I have the emotional capacity of a teaspoon, everything was just starting to simmer a little too high for my emotional threshold's liking, and thus, I was liable to explode at any second. It didn't help that a certain person was around. -.-

I'm better now, in case you were wondering. I don't feel explode-y at all anymore. No, I didn't explode. I just unloaded. Talked it out. Put the burden of my stupid hormonal feelings on someone else's shoulders. But don't worry, I'm pretty sure He can handle it.

I feel lighter now. Less worry, less pain. I'm not liable to burst out crying for no apparent reason anymore--which, for the record, is a huge relief. Yep. I'm pretty much back to normal.

If you can call my tea-and-cookie-consuming self normal.

Au revoir!

I'm An Emotional Mess

Yesterday, I bought two new books: The Fault In Our Stars  and Dracula. 

Because I have a friend who had read The Fault... before, I was more inclined to read that book. I forced myself to wait, though and opened up Dracula instead. Well, the aforementioned book got a little dry after a while (it's interesting now, but in my half-awake just-got-away-from-BCC state it definitely wasn't my best literary choice) and so I resolved to read the other book instead. 

Oh. My. Gosh.

I love John Green's writing style. I really do. 

There's something about it... It's witty, and intelligent, and funny in all the right places while still holding that lovely teenager-ish bite of sardonicism. Needless to say, I read two chapters last night, and the other twenty-two this evening. 

I'll repeat myself: Oh. My. Gosh.

Hazel... and Augustus... and Isaac... and, and, and... alsdjposidfngalsdknpiuasndfoijfg'[asdouhnfa;sldf. 

IT'S JUST SO FREAKING PERFECT, AND FLAWED, AND AWFUL AND AMAZING AND HEART BREAKING AND BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE IT AND IT ALL IN ONE BIG MESS. 

I'm pretty sure I cried for at least the last ten chapters. ...Maybe twelve. I stopped paying attention to chapter numbers around the time Agustus came into the picture. (Chapter two, if you were wondering.)

So. Basically. If you need to cleanse your system of tears, I suggest you read this book. My eyes are still puffy, and my dad says that I have puffy-crying-Filipino-nose going on. 

I'll Just Leave This Here...

January 2013

It's the New Year.

 That means resolutions have been made (and several have already been broken), goal weights have been set, and the last bits of junk food have been desperately consumed before I feel too guilty to eat again.
 I actually started this whole weight loss thing back in July. I was at my highest weight ever, 164.7, and, at 5'4", that wasn't the most flattering weight for me to be. It never really hit me that I was overweight until I saw pictures from prom. Standing there in a line with all of my skinnier friends made me look like an overstuffed sofa. It hurt to see myself like that. So I decided to change.

 It wasn't easy. Sticking and staying true to eating healthily is definitely not the easiest thing for me to do--especially considering that I love food, especially the this-is-definitely-bad-for-me kind.

 Somehow, I've managed to lose just about twenty pounds. I'm currently at 145, but I'm still not in the healthy weight range for my height. I also haven't hit my goal weight of 130.

I've got to be a man.
I've got to be as swift as a coursing river.
I've got to have all the force of a great typhoon.
I've got to have all the strength of a raging fire.
I've got to be as mysterious as the dark side of the moon.

 So here we go. Here's to change. Here's to health.

 Here's to looking good in whichever freaking prom dress I want. 

I'm an idiot.

A stupid, teenaged, hormonally imbalanced idiot.

Know why?

Because boys.

That's why.

Stupid. Unreadable. Idiotic. Wonderful boys.

One in particular, really.

whomayormaynotmakemesmilejustbyexisting.

Gah, I'm an idiot. I love and hate to be around him all at the same time. When I see him, I just stop thinking sometimes, and then I act like a complete and utter ditz, and I don't know what to do with my awkward self because my limbs decide that they don't want to work properly any more. 

I'm just scared. Scared that I've already ruined the crap out of it already. Every time he has asked me to dance, I've turned him down (even though on the inside I was screaming 'yes') , and now he doesn't even bother. It hurts, but it's relieving because I know that I won't have to bother with it anymore... but at the same time... I wish I did.

I hate being a teenager.

Especially a girl.

I'm going to go sleep, now. Maybe things will make more sense in the morning.... As if... it's been this way for months.

Goodnight.

Accidental Apocalypse

Woo! I'm doing NaNoWriMo again this year, and the title of mi novel is 'Accidental Apocalypse'. It's about zombies. It shall be awesome.

Haha, seriously. I'm really excited for this. I am at a little over 7,000 words right now, and I'm hoping to reach 10,000 words by the end of the day. Though I'm kind of procrastinating right now by typing up this blogpost... mehehehe... I'm actually racing one of my friends, Kathleen, to 10,000 and I'm terrified that she will beat me. XD

While I'm really excited for this, I'm also kind of afraid of it. I've never done something of this magnitude in such a teeny amount of time. I mean, yeah, I did it June, but that was a really easy story. I knew about what I was writing. It was personal. It was simple. And I didn't have about a bajillion characters to develop. :P

Seriously. There are so many characters in AA it's insane. I've got...

Peter
Aubrey
Mackenzie
Chelsea
Piper
Sarah
Nate
Luke
Roland (<---my personal favorite, just because he's so... weird)
Mr. Hanson
aaaand
I think that's it.

Yeah. I think the maximum amount of well developed characters I've ever had, was... 4? :P Ahaha, In TDD, I think the only truly developed characters were Aiden, Riley, and Roy. It was terrible. I look back on that story and wonder what the heck was possessing me to write it.

In LtbB, Gavin, Aislyn, Linc, and Lily were the most developed. Callie and Pierre had personality, of course. Callie was the smart model, and Pierre was the gay designer that acted as a bit of comic relief, but I don't really think they had a huge impact on the plot line.

^Those^ characters up there are going to have so much more depth to them than any of the other supporting characters have.

Peter will be a cowardly hero.
Aubrey... well she's the main character. XD
Mackenzie... is mildly important.
Chelsea is a baby. She doesn't do much.
Piper is a bit odd, but will come in handy during the apocalypse.
Sarah is quiet, but brilliant.
Nate is gallant. Like Lancelot or something. He could be a knight of the round table.
Luke shows his bravery in the most unlikely of ways.
Roland... mehehe, Roland. Roland is just awesome.
Mr. Hanson.. well, he's the start of this whole thing. And he goes a little... wooooooo...

Reading over that, I realize that my little blurbs don't actually make any of them seem important. Especially Chelsea. XD

Oh well.

OH!
Before I go.
I want to share a bit of description that I'm actually really proud of. XD

Everyone... meet Mr. Hanson:

Mr. Trevor Hanson was not your typical English teacher. In fact, I really don't think he was your typical person. Almost every day he would come in with a different, ugly, obnoxiously-touristy Hawaiian shirt. His thick, orange-y red hair was always slicked back on the sides, but he let a single curly-cue break free from the rest of the pack and lay against his forehead like the old-school Superman. My friend, Piper, and I had speculated in our freshman year that underneath all of his atrocious shirts he wore his superhero uniform, just in case an emergency ever struck the school. Our theory was proven faulty, however, when the fire alarm went off that same year for drill and he screamed like a girl. Watching a five-foot-ten, two-hundred pound man shriek and bounce up and down was definitely one of the most amusing things to happen that year. To his credit, he did make sure that all of the students got out of the classroom before he did, but after that I couldn't take him seriously. I stuck around in his classes after that, hoping that such an incident would happen again.

Au revoir(:

Seriously, What Is My Life?

So... At about 5 o'clock I had this random desire to watch Avatar: The Last Airbender. So, I pulled up Netflix on the TV and started watching the series from episode one.

I am currently on episode seventeen, and it is 12:36 AM. I kid you not, I have been watching this show for seven and half hours straight. Hence the post title: seriously, what is my life?

Yep. My parents are out of the house, so I spend my evenings watching cartoons, blogging, and writing. I'm such a wild child.

I guess my parents should be thankful or something. I could be out getting high or having sex or something. Instead I'm sitting at home watching a twelve-year-old save the world.

Yep. I strive to make them proud.